I’m re-releasing Murder on Sex Island with a publisher (not myself), and with the help of professionals, I’ve now filled all 17 existing plot holes! It’s coming out in June (you can pre-order now if you want to). I may be going on a book tour in the summer, but since I don’t have social media, they wonder, who will come? Not joking, I did a book event for the self-published version at The Mysterious Bookstore in New York two years ago. 3 people showed up, and the bookstore had set out 6 Cokes on ice, and they had to put back 4 of them into the fridge. It was sad at the time, and now that I’m thinking about it, it’s kinda funny but still retains that initial sting. So let’s move those Coca-Colas this time.

Here’s a poll to help figure out where to go:

Here’s the cover if that helps you get amped:

I appreciate your readership on this and that and it all goes without saying, but I would not be doing this without your support!

And now onto this week’s passions: Fresca, warm chapstick in the pocket, eating an orange over the sink.

I drank a cold Fresca and damn, it’s so much better than water. When you drink a Fresca, everyone points at it and asks, “they still make those?” and you gotta look at them like “do you see any dust on the rim? you think this is from some museum collection and not the REFRIGERATOR?” And then you get into a physical altercation! But it feels good, cuz there’s so much to be angry about.

It’s been an up and down couple of weeks, and I must’ve been licking my lips like a cartoon wolf, because these flappers are chapped. But then I found chapstick in my pocket. I don’t remember putting it there, but there it was, so so warm. I’m thinking I should do that with lotion, too. Mmm warm lotion.

Oranges are juicy. The only place you’re gonna eat them right is over the sink.

And now a few from the readers…

Zygy: “My passion is washing sugar off raisins in Raisin Bran. I enjoy eating Raisin Bran for breakfast but their raisins are covered in sugar. My doctor said I should cut down on sugar. I pour the Raisin Bran into a bowl and take out all the raisins. I put them in another bowl, soak them in hot water, and rinse. I do that twice. Then I put them back in the bowl with the bran, pour in milk, wait for it to get mushy, and eat it with a clear conscience.”

Mariana: “I am passionate about my wonderful old man coworker who plays music out loud for our whole floor of the office. Cubicle culture is drag but gogo music is so fab!”

If you have a passion or a place you’d want to attend a Murder on Sex Island book event that’s not listed in the POLL, you can reply to this email.